progress?

The last few weeks I've tried to not worry so much about every morsel and have been just eating the meals I know suit the diet I'm on and the calorie range I'm aiming for, with a eye on my nut intake and the addition of probiotics to help with the digestion of the increased amount of protein I'm eating.

I still weigh between 132-135 every time I'm on the scale, but I do feel like I'm noticing a slight change in my body composition. It does appear to me that I'm becoming more lean. Not thin...but more lean...like more muscle than fat. When i grab parts of my body that used to feel kinda fatty, then feel more muscular now, though I'm the same "size". Perhaps slightly smaller, or at least shapely in a way that feels like a real human body and not like a package of cottage cheese. (I know, cottage cheese doesn't come in packages, it comes in tubs...but I couldn't think of another analogy) I measured my waist and hips today and saw that my waist is the same, maybe a 1/2 inch smaller, but my hips are an inch smaller, and the lower "pooch" of my belly seems smaller. Shirts that used to be a little tight around my belly are hanging now. THAT'S PROGRESS, RIGHT?

Mark Sisson talks about "re-programming your genes" with this diet and that most people experience gradual change as their body becomes programmed to burn fat instead of carbs. Not the kind of over night change you might have come to expect with weight loss regimens. Perhaps this is happening? Or maybe the probiotics are helping me digest better? Or maybe I'm just not stressing so much about the whole thing and the absence of stress is lowering my cortosol levels? Who knows. But I'm feeling pretty good about where things are at the moment.

One other thing...I've noticed that my hunger pains don't exist much anymore, yet I'm eating fewer (if any) snacks during the day outside of my meals. I don't have much to say about that...just that this is happening. I'm trying to eat only when I'm actually hungry, which usually means that my meals end up being about an hour or two later than I would eat if I weren't paying attention to hunger. Again...just an observation.

Till next time...

I'm back

Wow - yeah, I've neglected this blog for a while. Oops! The deal was that yeah, I was getting pretty frustrated. I felt like I'd been doing everything to the T in those first 3 weeks, measuring every ounce, every teaspoon, yet I wasn't seeing any change. Then I went on vacation to Canada. Although I didn't lose any workout days there (I used the hotel gym and was walking quite a lot), I did slide down the slippery slope with regards to food. I find it VERY hard to eat out and stay low carb. Hardly any restaurant offers that kind of fare. And I always have this conversation with myself:

Me: "this is so unfair - I do so good 90% of the time at home. I'm at a nice restaurant with foods I'd never have the chance to eat at home. I should be able to try some of this stuff.

Me: "No Carrie, you have to stick to it. You're never going to see changes if you don't practice some restraint."

Me: "Great. Then I NEVER get to enjoy a nice dinner out? Look at that amazing bread right there, just one piece won't hurt anyone"

Me: "oookay then...go ahead and do it, but just this once"

Me: "awesome! (picks up bread and eats it. and it's delicious). Well, I mean, now that I pretty much blew the whole diet, I may as well order that amazing dish right there complete with potatoes, bread and rice. Oh....and after dinner, I may as well partake in that ice cream list"

Me: shaking head with disgust.

And this goes on and on, every day of my vacation. It's impossible to follow the diet without feeling like I'm somehow missing out on some great culinary piece of travel - yet if I succumb I have to deal with my conscience that shames me.

My lovely boyfriend doesn't see the big deal, he thinks that anything is ok in moderation. And he's right. Except every time I spend a few days with him we go out to dinner. And eating out as much as we like to eat out means its not moderate at all.

ANYWAY.....waa waa waa. I came home from Canada, I still weigh 135, went immediately on a camping trip. HAD to eat Smores. Fell even further off the diet. Then went back on right away at the beginning of this past week. I didn't record my calories, I just followed the same general input as usual, but maybe eating 4 nuts instead of 20, one egg instead of 2 in the morning. Stuff like that. Yesterday I weighed 132. But today I was 135 again. Stupid. And of course, last night was a wedding so I drank - today is a goodbye luncheon so I'm sure I'll eat off course a bit - and tomorrow is a trip to Wisconsin. Guess this would be easier if I didn't like to go out, didn't like to try new and awesome restaurants, didn't have any interest in socialization, which almost invariably leads to eating and drinking in some form.

Oh...and another disheartening thing. I went bathing suit shopping this week. Uh....yeah. Tim and I are going to the Wisconsin Dells tomorrow to hit up a water park. Haven't gone to a water park since Wet Willies in St.Louis. However, my current 2 piece is a bit flimsy and wouldn't hold up to slides and chutes and whatnot. So I decided I would buy a tankini this time, so that I don't have to worry about belly flab as I double over in my innertube on the lazy river for 2 hours. :-) So I tried on bathing suits and I wasn't that horrified with what I saw. I like my size and much of my body is pretty firm. Except there were these 3 way mirrors and bad lighting in this dressing room and I saw angles I wish I had never seen. Angles and light that revealed something that is increasing steadily with age. CELLULITE. Why god WHY do women have to deal with cellulite???!!!??? It's all over the place, mostly on my legs and butt. I wish god would be fair and give it to everyone, instead of giving it just to a few people.

I guess the good thing about this last week was, however, that I feel great. Besides being blinded by cellulite in a bathing suit, I'm pleased with how I look in clothes. My moods are amazingly positive. I blasted through my workouts with tons of left over energy. Relaxed. So I guess i can't really ask for much more.

Except for that cellulite to go away. Just saying.

Frustrated

I've been away from daily reporting of calories, but rest assured I've been counting them. I've been staying at Tims house for a week and the room with the computer was a room without air conditioning and sweat kept me from going in there too much.

So whats the deal with how things have been going? Well, to be honest...not great. And that's not to say I haven't been good about not eating sweets, that's not to say I haven't been good about sticking to the nutrient ration breakdown, and I've certainly been exercising. All of that said...why have I been getting rashes, difficulty with digestion (I had some serious bouts of nausea, cramping, and diarrhea one day) --- AND...why did I come back to my scale today only to see I'm 135 again?

Not cool.

I don't know what to do/say about any of it, really. Working extra hard and getting nowhere. I suppose it's possible I'm under estimating my caloric intake...but most days I struggled to get to 1400, and many days I didn't make it that high and was 100-250 calories below. I use a heart rate monitor when I exercise so I'm logging all my calories burned. And what's up with last week losing 4lbs...this week I changed nothing and gain it all back? It was obviously water weight, but that's not fair! As for the digestion issues, I have read in certain places that when you replace carbs with protein you often need the assistance of probiotics to get everything digested properly. I'm a fan of probiotics so I'll pick some up today at the grocery store.

Maybe I'm eating too many nuts? I'm afraid to lower my caloric intake too much for fear I'll fall below 1200 and be in that zone where your body starts to store fat to survive. Not sure what the change-up plan is yet. Any suggestions are welcome.

RASH!

Oh goodness, I've obtained a rash.

I've never been a very rashy person. In fact, I don't know that I've ever had a rash in my life, so you can imagine the concern when one suddenly popped up. It's all over my stomach and luckily doesn't itch. While going over all the variables that may have caused it, I can say the only thing different is that I've cut sugar out of my life. Could this be the culprit?

I've read a few different things online that say that cutting sugar out of your diet can lead to things like headaches, rashes, and loss of energy. You're basically detoxing so I guess it makes sense that this would happen. You often detox via your skin. So I'm gonna wait, hope it doesn't get worse, and see.

But gross. A rash?

Day 8

Gotta say, I slipped a few times. They were tiny moments of indulgence that honestly probably didn't add up to a whole lot. But maybe if people would stop offering yummy treats it would be easier to not have them. I had a few bites of bagel at work and 2 crab rangoon (which actually aren't so bad content wise as far as the high fat diet is concerned, but the flour shell is where I faltered). Luckily, I rode my bike for a total of 600 calories so I had about 200 extra calories to eat so because of that I'm not going to freak out. But honestly, its these little slip ups that often add to a pint of ice cream and a pizza so this is what makes me nervous. Gotta stay in line.

I'm staying at Tim's where there's air conditioning while he's out of town and it's 1 million degrees out so there will be no weigh ins this week.

Calories = 1778

Carbs = 62

Fat = 115

Protien = 82

FAT

In case anyone is wondering why I believe in a high fat, low carb diet, you might want to check out the documentary Fat Head. You can watch it on Netflix instant. The first half is kinda dumb (though poignant at times), but the second half is a great explanation about the myths behind low fat diets and cholesterol. It gives some really clear explanations about how our bodies utilize fat and how carbs and sugars thwart our attempts at losing weight. Check it out. Till then, have a look at this clip.

You may also want to check out the book, "Good Calories, Bad Calories" which tells the tale of how all calories are not the same and which ones to choose when you're worried about them or tracking them.

I have to say, however, that ever since I've started eating more animal fat, eggs, bacon, and things such as nuts and avacados for my fat intake, my energy has been through the roof. I hardly ever get tired during the day. And who doesn't want to eat lots of bacon?

Days 5 & 6

Day 5:

Weight = 132

Calories = 1322

Carbs = 85

Fat = 87

Protien = 83

I was feeling a little nauseous in the afternoon and at that point my carb intake was super low, like 40g or something - so I decided I needed some more carbs. I put a cup of blueberries in a shake and that jacked it up to the number you see here. I felt better after that.

Exercise:

Rode my bike along the lakefront and did some sprints. I try to do this 1x a week. I sprint for 20 seconds, regular for 10 seconds - I repeat that 10x (5 minutes) and then complete the ride at a regular pace (somewhere between 125-140 bpm). Burned something like 470 calories.

Day 6

Weight = 131

Calories = 1224

Carbs = 97

Fat = 67

Protien = 65

This day was hard because I had brunch at a friends house for my friend's birthday. This sorta threw my numbers all out of whack with regards to ratios of carbs to fats and whatever, even though I ate fine (quiche and fruit) I TOTALLY resisted the pastry treats and doughnuts there, oh AND mimosas, other alcohol, and juices. Turns out, saying no to the super sugary stuff hasn't been nearly as hard as I'd anticipated.

EXERCISE:

None. Today was my day off. :-)

I am a little worried about the 4lb weight loss in one week though. I think it is possible that my RMR (resting metabolic rate) is a bit higher than I have gathered off internet calculations and am therefore burning through calories at a faster rate. It's also possible that with the amount of muscle I currently have, that my metabolism is working faster than I'd calculated for. Not gonna complain! But I'm going to see how it looks this week and if I continue to lose lbs that fast I'll up my caloric intake a bit to slow it down a smidge. I don't think its really healthy to lose more than 2lbs a week.

Day 5

Weight = 132

Calories = 1356

Carbs = 84

Fat = 96

Protien = 62

I decided to start weighing myself every day and recording it here. I'll weigh myself in the morning as soon as I get up. When I started last weekend I was at 135, today I'm at 132! Now, I don't know if any of that is change in water weight, but we will see when I do it again tomorrow and the next day. I have to say though, I do feel a slight change in my body. I feel like I'm seeing some muscle definition in my shoulders/arms that I hadn't seen before. Lets hear it for muscle definition!!!

Here's an example of the kind of breakfast I've been eating this week:

1 hard boiled free range Omega 3 egg

1/4 cup of 4% milkfat cottage cheese

3 strawberries.

I usually eat this after my workout (around 7:15am) and I'm not hungry again until around 11am, at which point I'll have a snack. I like this breakfast because its fast and has a variety of tastes. I've been switching my fruit intake to mostly berries. Berries have the most "bang for your buck" with regards to nutrients. They have a lot of antioxidants (cell turnover) and they are the lowest on the glycemic index, which means that they are not going to spike your blood sugar as much as other fruits (bananna comes to mind as a high GI fruit). You can have a look at this chart for a look at the glycemic index of foods. I try to stick to the lower range.

High - 70-100

Moderate - 50-70

Low 0-50

Since I'm a sugar whore I used to put maple syrup at the bottom of a cup and dip raspberries and strawberries in it to sweeten them up. But since I've been eating this breakfast and have been cutting WAY back (totally back) on sugar, I am enjoying the sweetness of the strawberries as-is. I guess it has something to do with your body acclimating itself to the change.

I would also like to just add that today at work someone brought in a cake to bid farewell to an employee and you know what I said when I was offered a piece? (ahem) I said, "No thanks". I DID! I SAID NO THANKS! Thank god they didn't offer me a scoop of ice cream or I'm not sure the story would have ended so nicely.

Exercise

This morning I skipped the legs & back p90x routine to give my legs and butt a break and change it up a bit. Instead I did the shoulders & arms routine which is basically working shoulders/triceps/biceps. What I love about p90x is that you're going quickly through everything and its HARD so you're also burning a ton of calories. I burn the same amount of calories doing the resistance routines as I do with my cardio days. So beautiful!

Day 3 & 4

Sorry for the lapse! I'm not sure which is harder, limiting food intake or carving out time at the end of a busy day to blog about it.

Wed

Calories = 1098

Carbs = 43

Fat = 66

Protien = 49

This day was kinda hard because I ran out of time to make my lunch so I grabbed a go-to item for me, which is split pea soup from Trader Joes. I usually think I'm doing myself a favor when I eat that for lunch, but now that I"m looking at the macro nutrients I need, I see that this item messes everything up a bit. Low in calories, low in protien and fat. For dinner I ate out and had thai food so I estimated the numbers for that. I looked up something similar online and recorded those numbers. In case you're wondering, I had green curry which is full of coconut milk (good fat) meat (protien) and veggies (carb). They brought me white rice and DESPITE my love affair with white rice, I didn't eat any! Except yesterday I caved and ate a spoonful before dumping it in the trash (the horror!!!)

Wednesday I did the shoulders, back, and abs routine with P90x in the morning. Burned about 380 calories. Thinking about how I need to buy a pull-up bar, the bands I use in place of the pull up bar give me discomfort in my upper arms. Not sure what that's about.

THURSDAY

Calories 1436

Carbs 65

Fat 101

Protien 75

This day I actually had a hard time filling out all the calories with what I've got in my pantry. Something I love about this high fat diet is that I get to rock the Blue Diamond Almonds on a regular basis! At work I can buy those little packets in the downstairs shop and yesterday I got the Wasabi flavored ones and MAN do I love them. I have been eating macadamia nuts, which are apparently the superior nut with regards to nutrients. They have the lowest Omega 6 content. They're great - but expensive as they grow in Australia and have to be shipped over.

I also caved and ate a few Smarties that someone left in the kitchen at work. NO BIG DEAL. I felt guilty for having them though because this week I've had little to no sugar, which is HUGE for me! But come on...I ate like 3 tiny smarties. Shoot me.

Thursday is typically my day I skip with regards to working out. It's a nice mid-week break. Had my guitar class, felt great at the end of the day.

Day 2

Calories = 1508

Carbs = 78

Fat = 104

Protien = 77

Everything went well today. There was some serious chocolate chip cookie temptation at work, but I resisted. Major downfall working in an office comprised mostly of women. There were 2 stations of them. One box I had to pass each time I went to the bathroom, and another that I had to pass when I went into the kitchen. VERY HARD!!! But in the back of my mind I kept thinking, if I take one of these cookies, that would mean only getting like a half a piece of lettuce for dinner. I opted for the hearty dinner and refrained from the chocolate goodness.

EXERCISE

I rode my bike to work today so I burned about 200 calories going there and about 350 coming home (I took the lakefront path on my way home which adds about 15 minutes and allows me to burn more calories because I can go faster and not have to stop at lights). I heart my bike.

Day 1

Calories - 1276

Carbs - 56

Fat - 97

Protien - 57

In the winter I discovered Mark Sisson and the Primal Blueprint, which is basically a version of the Paleo diet which, in a nutshell, follows the principal that our bodies have been evolving for thousands of years to efficiently utilize and metabolize types of food that we foraged and fed on for 99% of our existence on earth when we were running around with stones and spears and living in caves and whatnot. Only in the last blip in time have we started to harvest our own food and gain the abilities to mass produce and package food to sell on shelves of grocery stores. Its also in this short period of time that cancer, obesity, diabetes, and an array of other diseases has plagued our culture. So basically, if you can't hunt it or gather it, then it's not on the list of things you should be eating.

With that said, I bought Mark Sisson's book, "The Primal Blueprint" and started throwing away grains and processed products and started to focus on whole foods and eating a diet of high fat (the good kind), moderate protein, and low carbs. Basically meat, veggies, fruit, some quality dairy, seeds and nuts. I've gotten pretty good at making my own raw foods that fit into this style of eating such as mayo and almond milk. Needless to say, I have more energy these days than ever before as our bodies are most efficient at turning fat and carbs derived from veggies and fruits into energy. Turn up the dial on carbs and starchy vegetables and sugar and suddenly our bodies crash from the spike in blood sugar.

With the help of this book, I worked out a formula based on my activity level and BMR that told me what macro nutrients (proteins, carbs, fats) I needed to use in order to lose approx 7.6 lbs a month. Here is what I came up with:

1450 calories/day

156 calories of PROTIEN (64g)

280 calories of CARBOHYDRATES (70g)

914 calories of FAT (101g)

So as you can see above, I was able to stay in this ratio today, with a few calories left over (that I'll no doubt use at some point this week). If I can keep my carbs between 50-80g I will be in a state of Ketosis, which is basically the state our bodies enter when there's no enough carbohydrates to burn for energy so it flips a switch and burns fat instead. Or so they say.

We shall see.

EXERCISE:

Today I got up and did the Core Synergistics DVD that's a part of the P90x program. It was raining this morning so a bike ride was out of the question. This is my favorite cardio workout in the p90x program as it keeps your heart rate pretty high throughout (I burned 379 calories in its 40 minutes) and you also do a bit of strength exercises in it (some push ups, lunges and weights that target the shoulders). Anyway, I love it. I did it. And I felt great.

How did I feel about recording everything? Well, it was hard. But it made me realize how much I graze. I had so many impulses to just have a handful of nuts, grab an apple, buy chocolate, make another coffee. I think that when I'm in my usual mode I allow these things, thinking "oh, it's just a little, it won't hurt". I guess after doing that so many times in the day it does add up. I really couldn't do it or I'd risk going over in my calorie limits.

I also realized after recording everything, and looking at the nutrient breakdown, how much certain foods contributed to what area. Man, olive oil has a TON of calories! Granted, it's a good source of good fat and has a lot in it, so I shouldn't be ignoring it - but usually I just throw whatever amount I want into a pan or a salad and realized today that this would be a mistake. So I spooned it out with a tablespoon and it was a LOT less than what I usually use.

Also, nuts have a TON of calories, yo! Again, the good kind...but I measured out my nuts this time instead of just eating them willy nilly and wow - made me realize what 220 calories of nuts looks like. Y'alls, its like 5 nuts!

So yeah, lots of eye opening moments today.

Success!

Ready Set Go

I decided to begin a blog to track my progress towards a seemingly innocent, but very important (for me) goal.

I want to lose 10 lbs in the next 3 months. That may not seem like a big deal. Especially for those of you who know me. I can hear the comments already, "But you look great, Carrie." "You don't need to lose any weight, Carrie." But for me, I've been trying to lose 10 lbs as long as I can remember and it's really not about looking great anymore. It's about overcoming this difficult road block I hit every time I try to lose a few extra lbs. The road block is self control with regards to food. It's not being able to say no. It's this insane drive towards sugar that feels completely out of my hands. It's this silly conversation I have with myself in my head that is me conversing with myself saying I shouldn't worry so much, go ahead and reward myself with a tasty treat. I will find any excuse in the book to validate that reward. But what's that about? Why reward myself with a tasty treat? Why not reward myself with health and energy? Vitality? Looking great in a bikini?!? It doesn't make sense. So this blog is my attempt at understanding this and getting out as much of the wacky process that goes on in my mind as possible so that maybe...just maybe...I can get past it.

I also want it to be online so that I feel somewhat accountable to someone other than myself. Somehow knowing that others may be reading this and that I will have to record my progress will make it more real, I think. So I can't just tell myself little lies and excuses and forget about it because no one will know. This time everyone will know.

Okay. SO...here's what you should know about me:

I am a 37 year old woman.
I'm 5'2"
I weigh 135 lbs and have weighed this for about 2 years. Before that I was around 127-132 for many years.
The standard weight for a woman my height is approx 115 lbs.
Waist = 30"
Hips = 39"
I have a desk job. (sedentary)
I ride my bike to work 3x a week. (45 minutes each way, keeping approx 135 bpm)
I do one day of legs/butt exercises.
I do one day of arms/shoulders/back exercises.
I try to follow a Paleo/Primal type diet (only meat, fish, veggies, fruit, nuts, seeds, good fats, some dairy) but I allow TOO MANY exceptions and often derail all my efforts by eating too many sweets.

On the outset you're thinking, "that's a healthy and fit girl!". And you would be right. I am healthy, I have a lot of energy, I am strong. Most days I feel great about myself. But here's the thing: I'm aging and it's harder and harder to maintain a physique that I feel good about. Also, I weigh about 20 lbs too much for my height and my body fat ratio is way too high for a girl as short as me. (last time I checked it I was around 25% body fat. I should be somewhere around 17%) I guess whats frustrating is that I work hard to maintain where I'm at and I feel like I should be gaining while working hard, not just maintaining.

So in order to get to where I want to be I'm going to have to dial in my diet a bit more and shave off a few bits that have been holding me back. I need to harness my will power to say NO to sugar and sweets at all costs and I have to work really hard to show restraint with portions. Luckily, I'm not coming into this with awful eating habits. I have been working the last 5 years or so to dump many of my old bad eating habits (this all came mostly due to some health issues I was having that was a BIG wakeup call to me). I used to eat Coco Puffs every morning for breakfast, have giant bowls of pasta on the regular, toss back candy every time I passed a candy rack, eat sandwiches with white bread practically every day, tons of rice, caramel macchiato from Starbucks 3 or 4 times a week (sugar!) and not think twice when eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Oh, and lots of soda. That's just the tip of the iceberg. I didn't cook so I was really good at grab and go type foods that I could heat up or get for takeout. READ: PROCESSED FOOD. So I basically rocked my blood sugar on a regular basis. I never thought of food as nutrients and fuel - I only thought of it as sustenance or something to make the hunger pains go away. Since I was young and exercised regularly I didn't notice the effects so much. But as life would have it, this caught up with me and I was experiencing major vitamin deficiencies and developed a thyroid nodule that eventually led to thyroid surgery and the loss of one lobe. I lost my sense of smell (and consequently taste), experienced MAJOR hormonal imbalances where my doctor put me on hormone replacement therapy, and I was depressed/anxious, tired, and well you know how it goes.

I've since had gotten my hormone/vitamin levels back to normal, I have tons of energy, have almost completely gotten rid of processed foods and breads/starches, am managing stress better, and feel pretty great most of the time.

So I want to keep this positive swing in motion and just kick it up just one more notch. Because why not?

The game plan:

This week (starting Monday) I'm going to begin recording all my calories and food in MyFitnessPal, which has an app I downloaded on my phone. The goal is to eat 1500 calories a day. Delete all sugar treats minus a teaspoon of sugar in my morning coffee. Up my water intake. See how this goes for the next week.

Stay tuned!